Your Country Funk

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (Sip of wine) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

OK...better....sorry about that.

Bitchy...Bitcharella....Bitchaneesha....if I did not know better, I have successfully transferred my crappy ass karma. But I will reflect on your bad incident as I would mine:

1) I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with my twin....WTF were you thinking not bringing booze to the hotel...I pack that crap before my toothbrush. Going out of town for work is the SHIT! You get to escape on someone else's dime. I like to get to my room...have a few vodkas...change into something swanky and chill in the hotel bar. Then strike up a nice conversation with a cute fellow traveller....I tell them I am a surgeon or I am a teacher for underprivildged hoolums or a nude model...depends on my sensitivity and guaging of him. I can never tell them I am a lobbyist because then they start giving me their philosophy on politics and their views like I GIVE A SHIT...kills the mood and makes me want to stab them with the doohickey holding the lime in my vodka. And after more drinks...retire to my room...tie him up and bust out the nacho cheese sauce...and well nevermind...you get my point. I am VERY disappointed in you...at least with the booze oozing out of your pores in the AM it might have offset the hoo-hoo funk emitting from your dirty underwear....which brings me to my next point.

2) WTF kind of packer are you???? Forgetting underwear is worse than forgetting booze...UNACCEPTABLE! Why???? Why so dirty???? And ho...I know how weak those blowdryers in the hotel are....how LONG did it take you to cook your nasties???? Again...deferring to my twin....go Ramba...I do all the time...it is pleasant and free.

3) Why did you attend that seminar? I would have called my work and told them, "Fuck that Miss Boss-lady". There is NO way I would chill for 7 hours in a room where NO ONE took a damn shower. I would have said that it is against basic hygiene and environmental laws and if they made me that I would sue them and make Erin Brokovich look like a fucking amateur.

4) Nice job with the KFC chicken...that is the SHIT. Love...love it!

Overall...I am sorry that you had to experience that shit, Dirty Ho.

Cali-Ho