Ok...I am very disturbed, to say the least, about the level of nastiness and poverty in Baltimore. Jesus Christ...hobos out here drink latte's and have their own MP3 players and beg money for a crossiant special at the local deli. But my ghetto-infested twin...I must give some serious props for actually going to work after seeing his Folgers a "brown shower", cuz I would have to urp a lil' and call into work, "Yo...Glenna...I need to speak to Livin' La Vida Loca (my Latina CEO)...waiting....waiting...Carmela? MIRA! I am outside of the building but my ass is rollin' home...why??? WHY??? Well, I do not think that hobos laying fecal burritos in grande cups and grubbin' on it is a conducive environment for my genius...you need to TCB (take care of bidnass for those ebonically challenged). Comprende? Palabra (word)."
But that is Cali...this is Baltimore...let's talk about it. Baltimore is a SHITHOLE. I know. I have been there. I was scared...and my ass has no problem rollin' to Oakland. SCARY! It is not the one of the most dangerous cities for nothing, yo. And I am scared for my ghetto/crime/hobo-foochie-eatin'-subjected twin. I am serious...muthafucking Colombia and the Congo are safer places. Screw Brad Pitt and Bono trying to raise money to save Africa...they need to have a fundraiser for Baltimore.
I am sorry boo-boos that you live in such a crappy place....I raise my Napa Valley tannons to you....chillin' outside at a nice 80 degrees and hobo-free.
And yes...I am expecting your crap about how I run them over, but that is one less hobo eating poo in front of me.
Peace out...
Cali-Ho
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